When the Cost of Living Makes It Harder to Leave
The financial reality of separation
For many people, the decision to leave a relationship is not simply emotional. It is practical, financial and often frightening.
As family lawyers, we regularly speak with people who know their relationship is no longer safe, healthy or sustainable, but feel trapped by the question: How could I possibly afford to leave?
That fear is not imagined. Australia’s cost of living and housing pressures are making separation harder. Rent is high, mortgage repayments are stressful, and living on one income can feel almost impossible — especially for people raising children.
When financial pressure becomes a barrier to safety
For someone experiencing domestic and family violence, these pressures can become another barrier to safety.
Research from Australia's National Research Organisation for Women's Safety (ANROWS) recognises that economic insecurity is closely linked with intimate partner violence, and that financial dependence on a perpetrator can be a significant barrier to leaving.
The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare has also identified family and domestic violence as a main reason women and children leave their homes, with many experiencing housing insecurity or homelessness as a result.
The hidden costs of leaving
Leaving is not just about ending a relationship. It may mean finding somewhere to live, paying bond, covering rent, managing debts, supporting children, changing schools, replacing household items, or trying to rebuild financial independence from scratch.
For some, the choice can feel like this: stay in a harmful relationship, or leave and face financial hardship.
Financial barriers to leaving violent relationships are not merely anecdotal. Research by Professor Anne Summers AO, Professor of Domestic and Family Violence at the University of Technology Sydney Business School, found that many women who had experienced domestic violence either returned to a violent partner or were unable to separate because of financial pressures. In her report, The Choice: Violence or Poverty?, Professor Summers found that of 275,000 women who wanted to separate from a violent partner, approximately 90,000 were unable to do so, with almost one quarter identifying a lack of financial support as the primary reason.
You do not have to work it all out alone
Many people stay in unsafe or unhappy relationships because they believe they cannot afford legal advice, cannot secure housing, or simply do not know where to begin.
But you do not need to have everything figured out before reaching out for help.
Support services that may be able to help
Legal Aid Queensland provides legal information and assistance for people experiencing domestic and family violence, including information about protection orders and support services.
Women’s Legal Service Queensland offers free legal assistance to women across Queensland in areas including domestic and family violence, separation, divorce, parenting and child safety.
For people worried about the financial cost of separation or legal proceedings, there are also services like JustFund, which may assist eligible clients to access funding for family law legal fees and related expenses during a separation process.
The Australian Government’s Leaving Violence Program may also provide eligible victim-survivors with financial support, safety planning and referral assistance when leaving or planning to leave a violent intimate partner relationship.
Crisis and emotional support
There are also crisis and emotional support services available, including:
1800RESPECT — 24/7 counselling and support for people impacted by domestic, family or sexual violence
DVConnect — Queensland crisis support and pathways to safety
Family Advocacy and Support Services, also known as FASS, which provides legal and social support services at family law courts for people affected by family violence
If you are in immediate danger, call 000.
Understanding your legal options
Legal advice can be an important part of making a safe plan. You may need advice about parenting arrangements, protection orders, property settlement, spousal maintenance, child support or what your options are if you cannot afford to move out immediately.
Leaving a relationship does not have to happen all at once, and asking for advice does not commit you to taking immediate action. Sometimes the first step is simply understanding what support is available.
At KLM Solicitors, we understand that leaving a relationship can feel overwhelming, particularly when money, housing and children are involved. Our role is to help you understand your options, take things one step at a time, and make informed decisions about your future.
You may feel trapped right now, but there may be more support available than you realise.
For confidential family and domestic violence support, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811.
And when you are ready to understand your legal options, we are here to help.
Kelli Martin
KLM Solicitors
Sources and further reading
Disclaimer
This article is intended as general information only and does not constitute legal advice. For advice about your individual circumstances, please contact a qualified legal practitioner.